A Lesson in Patience: Link-Up With The Mama Memoirs

Sorry for the blogging hiatus recently...I've been working on a few posts, but a few of them are a little more personal and on a more serious note, so I want to make sure that they are at their very best before I put them out on the world wide web. ;)

But because I miss posting, and because I found an awesome link-up with A Sorta Fairytale, I'm sharing today about something I have been struggling with as a mother.


Patience. As mothers I think we all realize that the instant you see the positive result on a pregnancy test that you can no longer put yourself or your own needs first. Throughout pregnancy you avoid certain foods, medications, and activities that could possibly harm your baby. Then when they are finally here and in your arms you sacrifice sleep, energy, and don't shower for days {or was that just me?!} so you can spend all your time caring for your sweet little newborn.

Looking back now, I think that even though I was so focused on putting Jackson's needs first and that I loved him so much, I still struggled with being patient with him. When I would just close my eyes and drift off to sleep only to hear him begin to fuss because he wanted to nurse for the third time in two hours. When he would cry so hard in the car that it sounded like he couldn't breathe. When he was so fussy that I couldn't sit in church and enjoy fellowship with other believers on Sunday. Wow. Even writing this now that he is almost 9 months old, I can't believe that I thought those instances were so trying on my patience.

Hard to believe you can be frustrated with this sweetness, huh?

Now I find myself really struggling when I'm trying to feed Jackson and he arches his back and pushes my hands and the spoon away. Or when he screams at the top of his lungs from his crib at 6:00 in the morning. He's also taken to just screaming and screeching in general, but it's the hardest to listen to when he wakes up at the aforementioned time and I am trying to doze on the couch while he plays. And my favorite...when he flips his entire body over while I am trying to wipe poop off of his rear end.

My attitude has not been the best when dealing with these situations lately...I allow myself to get frustrated and I struggle with not snapping at Jackson. I'm ashamed to admit that I have been losing sight of putting Jackson's needs first as I so carefully did when I was pregnant. The Lord entrusted me with the upbringing of these sweet boy and I have been missing out on so much joy when I choose to allow frustration to take hold. No matter how much I want to change and be more patient, I cannot do this on my own.

I need Jesus.

I need His grace and His perfect patience. When the disciples continually acted amazed at His power and miracles, or when Peter, James, and John fell asleep twice when He had asked them to wait up and pray with Him in the garden...He still patiently loved them, taught them, and led them. How much more so does He do that with me? I do not always obey, I do not always trust, and I do not always serve my Savior with my whole heart. And yet, the Lord is constantly patient and loving to me.

So now when Jackson wakes me up early or when he cries for my attention when I'd rather be reading blogs, I make sure to pray and ask the Lord to give me patience. Give me grace. Because here on earth I may be saved from my sins, but I am not a perfect being, and I need help having patience.

I love my son so very much, and I am ever so thankful for the opportunity that I have been given to learn this lesson. I have never thought about this before, but because of my role as a mother, the Lord is using that role to teach and mold me into a more perfect representation of His Son.

Oh, thank you, Lord Jesus, for your patience with me and for my sweet son who I am learning from every day.

Have you ever struggled with being patient?

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"Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing." James 1:3 & 4