A year ago today I woke up after a night of restless sleep...partly from being nine months pregnant and uncomfortable, but mostly because I knew I would be meeting you the next day. We left for the hospital early, and had a wonderful day (although a little uncomfortable for me) waiting for you to arrive. After only 6 hours of labor, you entered our lives and changed us forever.
From the second we brought you home from the hospital, you have been a perfect and integral part of our family. We did not even know that we were missing you until you came along and showed that to us with every smile, laugh, coo, giggle, and cry. I can still remember the feeling of newborn you, no bigger than a football, cuddling up on my shoulder after nursing in the middle of the night. I told myself to never forget those moments...to impress them on my heart and my memory forever...and I hope that I never, ever do. I can't tell you the number of times I would come in the living room to find you sleeping on top of your dad, or the time I came back to the car after running into the store for a few items and finding your sweet dad in the backseat with you out of your carseat and cuddled to his chest because he couldn't stand to hear you starting to fuss. Those first few weeks and months were hard, but so very precious.
As you've grown your personality has developed right before our eyes, and though we can see ourselves in you, you are definitely your own little person. You are silly, funny, active, extremely curious, and sometimes straight up crazy! We are either laughing at you, keeping you out of trouble and from hurting yourself, or staring at you in shock after you do something we can't believe. Jackson, you definitely keep us on our toes. You are friendly to everyone you meet, and you quickly remember and recognize people that we spend a lot of time with. You have so many family members that love you and can't wait to visit and play with you. Your grandparents love you infinitely, and you have aunts and uncles, cousins, and friends who are like family who also love you and would do anything for you. You are so blessed. Do not ever forget or take for granted how blessed you are, my son. I know we will never forget how blessed we are to have you in our lives.
I can't wait to watch you grow up and start playing with your many cousins and friends. I pray that you will be close with them all, and that you will all have a common bond in the Lord Jesus. You will have a lot of friends here where we live. When your dad first proposed to me, I could not even imagine what my life would be like living at Turkey Hill year-round. The life that we live here is very different from others, but I have grown to be so very, very thankful for its uniqueness. The Lord knew what He was doing (He always does!) when He placed us here...and now we can see that as long as we are here, you will grow up with other little boys, two that are very close to your age, and surrounded by people who love you like their own. It warms by heart to see how sweetly and sincerely others love and care for you.
Jackson Edmond, more than anything, your dad and I pray for your salvation each and every day. We know that the Lord loves you fiercely, and more than we ever could be capable of, even though it seems impossible that anyone could love you more than we do. As perfect as you are in our eyes, we do know because of God's Word that you need a Savior, and we pray that you will trust in Jesus Christ to be that Savior for you. I want to leave you with a few more things. Things that I pray for for you, and things that your father and I strive to live out in our lives before you.
Always, always follow God's Word. (Psalm 119:105)
Look to Him for all your decisions and choices in life. (Proverbs 3:5,6)
Trust that He has your very best interests in mind. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)
Put the Lord first in your heart. (Mark 12:30)
I don't know when or if you will ever read these things, but I hope that my actions always show you how much I love you and how much you mean to me. You have completely changed me and opened my heart up to a selfless, sometimes almost painful love. Painful in that my heart is so attached to yours that anything that ever hurts you, hurts me. I am constantly worrying about you, and recommitting you and your life into the hands of the Lord. In His hands is the safest, best place for you to be. I pray that I always have the strength to give your life to Him, just as Hannah gave Samuel to the Lord. Your dad feels the exact same way, and we will always, always love you and care for you.
Thank you for an amazing first year...I can't wait to watch you grow and learn even more as the years pass by. I am thankful for every second, every breath, and every day that we have with you, sweet baby.
Happy First Birthday.
Happy First Birthday.
Love,
Mama
